Life now? Dilemma really.

So i've been hiatus the past 3 months? There is a reason, really. I had to contain my excitement or anxieties or stories of my life so that people will not speculate.

After the crisis, life has been hard. Husband have been working almost every other day, doing more ot-s than usual. Myself? I actually took on another job. Yes, im currently holding 2 jobs now, and am not sure for how long more i can hold on.

I have taken on an office-hour job which is totally not sales related. Totally different from my work experience the past 5 years. Wasnt easy. I had to sacrifice lots of things.

My life in aia used to leave me with a very flexible schedule. Allowing me to choose what time I want to go to work and make me plan my day however i want it to be. Giving me the option when I want to stay home and look after my son or which day I want to go out after matching my husband's schedule.

But now?

I have to live with the fact that i have to be in the office from 9-6 mon to fri. Leaving only weekends to spend time with my kids and husband, provided he is on off/ rest during that weekend.

I have to accomodate to spending lesser time with my kids and myself. We wake up at 630am, after settling them, i rushed off to work. Once its 6pm, i'll be rushing back home, do the necessary then it will be bedtime. For once, I understood the feeling of TGIF!

But all this in exchange for a stable life for ourselves eventually. I learnt That I have new skill sets which I never knew I had. I have cpf contributions and a stable income. Something which was lacking back in aia.

I know one day I will have to choose. To stay or leave aia. Bcoz even though I am still able to service my clients, i am not able to meet the targets set by the company. I am having a hard time giving excuses to my bosses in aia on the reasons for my absence in meetings and gatherings etc.

But that said, I really2 need to hold on to the renewal income that i receive. That amounts of $$ does help in one way or another.

Dear allah. Please show me the right path, the one that is better for me as only you will have the key to all answers for my life. Please show my your guidance, ya allah. Amin.