Dilemma Again?

If you don't get enough, who is at fault?

If you get more, who is responsible?

If you have promised, should you deliver?

What if you had promised but then realise that you cannot afford it?

Should you then proceed or cancel on your promise?

Is it fair that you are not getting or enjoying your fruits of labor after an entire year of working for it?

Is studies/self-development that important for kids that the decision I made to keep them occupied during this holidays would result in shortage in elsewhere?

What should I do with the many bankers chasing?

Which is my priority?

Who is my priority?

Who can help me when I needed help most?

How should I survive this month?

It is all on me. I don't know what else to do.

I feel so lonely.

I do not need sarcasm now. I don't need you to tell me how much you "suffered".

Coz you do not know how much I have suffered.

How much I have to put on a thick face to those who may talk on my back about the things that I have to grow through, when all you can do is to avoid all of this. While I have to face it myself.

Ya allah. Please help me and show me your guidance.

For I am stuck once again, where I see only darkness.