Didnt go as planned

It sucks to be talking about the financial crisis that im going through on the first day of a new month. But i dont know of anywhere else to rant.

So fAr the second half of things havent go as planned. I dont even know if it will ever proceed as planned initially.

After the meet-up last thursday, im entangled with stress & fear. I need to explore other options. But will my other options go through?  I leave it to Allah though  im praying hard at least the new plan could fall into place.

Please make doa for me, amin.

Now that it is 2nd February,  it has been 2 months Im in my new job. Last 29/1 was the 5th year of my svc with AIA. If i.were to have attended the previous group meeting, i believe i would have received my long term award.

But, since it is already February,  this is the deciding month of my future with my first company.

New business has been very poor though I've been servicing my existing clients all these while. Doing claims, giving them updates on their policies whenever necessary etc. But new sales?  Very bad.

Tried fixing appointments for new sales, but for some reason, it just didnt happen. The fact that i sold off my ipad in December also made it even harder for me to go into new sales.

Furthermore, work in the new place has kept me real busy. Time flies so fast whenever Im at work. There's really no time to do anything else. Here's my typical schedule now.

630 - 8 am: wake up, make milk and feed them, wash bottles, sterilise, fold clothes, boil water, had breakfast, bathe the kids & shower, get ready for daughter to go school, prep for son, get ready for work.

8am (latest by 810): rush off to work to get in the office by 9am. Whether im early or late depends on how many ppl q for the bathroom & whether my son wakes up.early. If he does,  then my routine above will be.slower as i will need to bring him along to wherever i go.

9 - 6pm: work. Sometimes I reach around 910. I'll try to leave by 630 latest as i learnt i have an.express bus that brings me home. At least i dont have to squeeze in the trains going back home.

730 (latest reach home): shower, pray, eat dinner, do laundry for kids, pack my daughter's bag, wash any balance bottles, prep kids for bed.

845-9pm: put kids in bed.

9-10pm: miscellaneous stuffs like check any clients enquiries, Facebooking, read online news, listen to music or sometimes late night prayers. Or simply having a chat with husband as occassionally our schedules clash & i dont see him in 2-3 days.

Thats the schedule from mon-fri. Weekends, im with the kids. My mom don't take care of.them over the weekends. This also makes it harder for me to fix any appointments on weekends.

My mum will have her own schedule and list of things to do. Cant blame it on her as she's been taking care of kids mon-fri.

If u ask me, yes im very tired. No "me" time, and insufficient rest i feel. With the fact that my kids still wake up 2-3 times for milk at night.

But i believe that hardships wont last. I believe in what allah lays down for me and that he wont test me if its beyond my means.

Now, im just hoping for a miracle closure, as ive been tested trials and again from august. Praying hard for all.the trials to end soon. Please pray for me and family. Amin.