Cultural Differences

My phone smses was swarmed with cultural enquiries the past week. Living in Singapore "forces" one to live in both cultural & racial differences. So for the benefit of all Non-Malays out there, I have decided to type this special entry to clear your doubts...

The topic? ENGAGEMENT

From TV commercials/ chinese shows, engagement in the chinese context starts when the guy proposed to the girl. If she accepts (w/o having to consult her parents), he inserts a ring into her finger and the couple is considered engaged. They are then free to live together, as husband & wife.

Correct me if I'm wrong here :)

The malay context is slightly different. Engagement does not equate, or should I say far from being married. Being engaged simply means that the guy has öfficially "booked" the girl to be his future wife. Being engaged does not allow the couple to live together etc... The relationship is still the same like boyfriends girlfriends relationship except that their relationship has been officially recognised especially between families, relatives & friends.

So how does it work?

Malays are still quite conservative in tradition. The guy will still propose to the girl. Once the girl accepts, she is supposed to discuss with her parents about the proposal. If the parents (girl's side) accepts, then the guy will send in reps to the girl's house and officially ask for her hand in marriage. The reps may consist of his parents, aunts and other relatives. During the "discussion", issues that will be discussed includes the dowry, the duration of the engagement before the actual marriage takes place & other miscellaneous issues. Once done, the engagement will happen when one of the reps from the guy's side, usually his mum or aunt insert the ring on her finger. This may then be followed by the reception and photo-taking.

Note that the guy is strongly discouraged from being present during the engagement ceremony. However, in this modern context, you can see that most guys do come by to take shots from their dolled-up fiancees.

So please people, if you heard a malay girl who claims that she is engaged, SHE IS NOT MARRIED YET & NOT pregnant. *thanks lee for your shocking sms... JOKER*

I hope this entry had cleared some doubts that you guys out there may have. Do email me/leave comments if you need more explanation.

On a different note, it's left a few hours before I officially turn 22...
*bOo*

Till then, love!