First Pay

Dear Diary,

I received my first pay today. (well, actually yesterday)

Initially I was overwhelmed when I saw such a huge amount in my bank account. Never once I've had so much money in the bank. I really had mixed feelings. No words can describe my feelings at that time.

Today, after I "distribute" some to my family members, half of it is already gone. 3/4 of it will be gone by this week. If you have the thought that I'm a shoppaholic or something, you are soo wrong!

Today, I spent the entire day putting deposits and sourcing around for the other things to secure for the big day...

Usually people will book all the necessary preparations at least a year before their big day, but I'm only left with a few months to do so... That's why I dedicated my Sunday going down, a lot of discussion and viewing of portfolios and finally committing to a deposit. That's the reason why 3/4 of my pay will be gone within a week!

We chose not to engage our wedding services under one company. Few reasons, firstly we think that their prices amounts to a lot, and very rigid negotiations can be done with regards to their packages. Secondly, we want to ensure that all proceeds on smoothly so that at least if one thing goes wrong (nauzubillah), the others are not affected as it's handled by different people. However, like my dad was saying, the con of engaging different people to handle different things is that the coordination maybe confusing as there will be different parties to communicate with.

But alhamdullilah, though I've decided to go for "ala carte", we still got cheaper packages that enables the entire cost to further reduce. So for a peace of mind, I decided to willingly part with my pay so as to get things going.

Tomorrow night, we'll be going down again to put other deposits. Wednesday evening will be an appointment with the caterer and Friday to go down for another deposit.
This week is going to be busy!

Not to mention that we are going for the course this coming weekend!

Pray for me that all will go well, insyallah...

That aside, I had a lot of personal conversation with my mum a lot today. And from the conversation, I realised that my parents are feeling very guilty that they could not help me pay for my wedding. Especially since I'm the eldest. My dad even broke down when the parents were talking about it amongst themselves.

Aku biler dgr citer pun sedih....

Usually it is kind of a tradition, that the first child to get married will get ample sponsorships from their parents and usually a very grand wedding.

For me, there is a standard benchmark that I am not willing to compromise. Especially since we get married only once in a lifetime (well, at least thrive to). So I want mine to be equally memorable, just like what happened during my engagement ceremony. Only difference is, I am paying all of it by myself.

But I seriously dont blame them. Maybe it's all written, and I'm willing to accept it with open arms.

p/s: To be honest, I'm having mixed feelings now. Excitement, eagerness, and maybe a bit worried too... Didnt expect to have reach this part of my life so soon.... :)